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“Perfectionism is the enemy of progress.”
George Bernard Shaw
Being a perfectionist can prevent progress because it can lead to an excessive focus on small details and a fear of making mistakes.
While striving for excellence is admirable, it’s important to recognize that perfectionism can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it can drive us to do our best and produce high-quality work. On the other hand, it can also hold us back by causing us to get bogged down in the minutiae and become paralyzed by the fear of failure.
In good hands, perfectionism can become a powerful tool, but you just need to learn how to use this tool. In her book, The Perfectionist Guide to Losing Control, Katherine Shafler explains how to understand your perfectionist traits and instead of affecting your progress, she explains how to make those traits work for you.
When we’re too focused on getting everything exactly right, we may miss out on opportunities to learn from and grow from our mistakes.
But before diving into strategies to overcome the perfectionism trap, let’s see what motivates people to become a perfectionist:
Perfectionists are motivated by a number of factors, including:
Fear of failure. So, you might say to yourself, if I don’t do something perfectly, I will be judged and rejected by others. This mindset usually creates a deep-seated fear of failure.
A need for control. I usually call this “My Way or The High Way” mentality. Perfectionists often feel like they need to control every aspect of their lives. They may believe that if they can control everything, they can avoid making mistakes. They won’t let others take control.
A need for approval. Perfectionists often have a strong need for approval from others. They may believe that if they can please others, they will be loved and accepted.
A need to feel good about themselves. Perfectionists often feel like they need to be perfect in order to feel good about themselves. They may believe that if they can achieve perfection, they will be happy and successful.
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you insane your whole life.”
Anne Lamott
Why being a perfectionist can cause more harm than good?
1. Perfectionism can lead to burnout: Perfectionists may set unrealistic expectations for themselves and feel pressure to achieve them at all costs, which can lead to exhaustion and burnout.
2. Perfectionism can lead to procrastination: Perfectionists may put off completing tasks because they feel that they are not yet good enough to complete them to their high standards. This tendency can lead to missed deadlines and lost opportunities.
3. Perfectionism can hurt relationships: Perfectionists may set impossibly high standards for others, leading to strained relationships and feelings of disappointment.
4. Perfectionists may miss out on opportunities for growth: By avoiding challenges and risks, perfectionists may limit their opportunities for growth and personal development.
5. Perfectionism can lead to a lack of satisfaction: Perfectionists may never feel truly satisfied with their achievements because they always see room for improvement.
“Perfectionism is the art of never being satisfied.”
George Carlin
How to overcome perfectionism
Overcoming perfectionism can take time and effort, but it is possible. Here are a few strategies that can help:
1. Set realistic goals: Instead of setting impossibly high standards for yourself, set realistic goals that you can achieve. Celebrate even small successes and give yourself credit for progress, no matter how small.
2. Focus on progress, not perfection: Emphasize the journey rather than the destination. Take pride in each step forward and learn from each setback.
3. Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a good friend who is striving for excellence.
4. Challenge negative self-talk: Pay attention to the critical voices in your head and challenge them. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and supportive messages.
5. Embrace mistakes: Recognize that mistakes are a natural and necessary part of the learning process. Learn from mistakes rather than being overly critical of them.
6. Prioritize self-care: Take care of your mental, emotional, and physical health. Engage in activities that help you relax and recharge.
7. Seek support: Talk to trusted friends or family members about your struggles with perfectionism. Consider seeing a mental health professional for additional support and guidance.
Some of the greatest achievements in history have come from people who were willing to take risks and embrace imperfection. By letting go of our need for perfection and accepting that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process, we can open ourselves up to new possibilities and achieve even greater success in the long run. So while it’s important to strive for excellence, let’s not let perfectionism stand in the way of progress.
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